Anger Management

@ 5 years 5 months 3 weeks 2 days

This morning, Ryan had his worst punishment from Daddy. It all started when we were getting into the car to head out for brunch. Instead of getting into the car the normal usual way, Ryan insisted to go in from Darren’s side. I was busy strapping Darren up and here this little nonsense wanted to get it. I had to brushed him away.

At this point he was extremely angry. Perhaps we had always let him get his way too easily. He was showing his temper, and just when hubs opened Ryan’s side of door for him to get in, he started kicking and shoving the door. When he was reprimanded by hubs, he absurdly went out of control and kicked hubs. Well, expectedly that was the last straw.

Hubby was so upset and I was more disappointed than anything at that point of time. Did we do something wrong with this child? 

Well, a horrible scene of what I classifies as domestic violence soon ensued. When Ryan continued his nonsense and refused to cooperate, there goes a blow to his face. First time. I was at the verge of crying. My helper was crying and my FIL was choking back tears. I stepped in, separated the two and summoned Loida to bring Ryan up. We left the house for brunch with Darren.

Hubs was still furious and we debated a bit on our differences in our way of parenting. I for one is against corporal punishment whereas hubby believes sparing the rod means spoiling the child. Hubby said I spoiled him, something which I vehemently denied. (I think he easily beats me hands down when it comes to over pampering our first born ).

I don’t know, I feel Ryan does have a little bit of anger management problem as it is not the first time he showed us his ugly side but surprisingly he has all the praises from his teachers when we attended the PTA talk yesterday. He was commended for his superiority in many areas. He is mature for his age and has never showed a temper. He is collected, happy go lucky and very well behaved in school. He met all the expectations outlined academically and non academically. So why?

Well this morning’s incident was a matter of factly trivial but because it was not his first offense, it sets the alarm off and puts me into self reflection and deliberation if my way of parenting does need adjustment. How can a boy who is deemed so nice to others can turn ugly against his own family. Is this a sign of more serious underlying problem else why is my boy taking people who loves him for granted? Or am I simply over reacting? Afterall he’s only a 5 year old kid?

..

After we came back from brunch, Ryan was in the midst of his Enopi homework. I had a talk with him. Gave him a piece of my mind. He was sad and evidently remorseful. His eyes were swollen from the whole lot of crying. However when I asked him to apologize to Daddy, he was reluctant. He just couldn’t swallow his pride, a thing I find a lot of similarity between the Daddy and son. I’m again ‘kiap’ in the middle. Both feel sorry for what they had done, yet both refused to take the first step out. Haiz….

Ps: In the end, I convinced Ryan it was him who was at fault first and he obediently apologized to his Daddy. By then all his 80 odd Ultraman / Bandai monster figurines including its boxes have been confiscated. It will require lots merit points before he could redeem back all his beloved. Well, he needs a L E S S O N for sure. Hope he is learning it the hard way.

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He was smacked on the left side of his face. Mommy 心痛 . When I asked him if it’s painful, he shook his head. I hope one day if he read this, please understand we are doing all this because we love you.

There’s only one Ultraman figurine for play now. Ryan is definitely having a taste of the consequences for his misbehavior.

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Brother and brother fought over this Ultraman Tiga here, the one and only available for play now. 

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5 thoughts on “Anger Management”

  1. i can totally relate Yvonne. not easy when you see your other half disciplining them. i also spoilt the 2 boys crazy but when they go overboard, they need to know that it is wrong. bens also take the hanger and whack joel until all red.. very heart pain. but at least Joel knows that we have our limits too.. now i know what my mom goes through.. hehe

  2. ha.. I am the bad guy here, I scream, hit and punish them kau kau.. papa is the one who spoil them … ;) that’s why Malaika said papa never hit/scold her.. well, hardly lo ..

  3. Wah, Rick really ‘seh dak’ hit Ryan? I am sure he also will feel very ‘sam tong’. I am sure Ryan is a good boy, it’s just that boys are always boys, they have pride and temper but I am surprise he refused to apologise to his daddy at first. For a boy his age, he will definitely do so. my kai chai really ‘yao seng kak’. hahaah… :P

  4. Confiscating his toys is considered double punishment already… He was reprimanded earlier by hubs and you.. and then not allowed to go for branch.. so the effect is like a triple reinforcement. Maybe that ur parenting style. But i reckon, 1 time punishment is sufficient. if is repeated, then make it a more serious 1 time punishment than several…

    Anyway i know how u feel..the hurt in our heart. i believe in using the rod n everytime when i use it on philip, it hurts. but i remind myself its for his own good.

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