Horrible Mommy…

@ 30 months 3 weeks 6 days

Poor Ryan boy became the victim of mommy’s foul mood yesterday morning. I was reading the newspaper when I heard sotong asking Ryan if he wants cereal. Expectedly he answered NO. He has been so picky on his food in the last few months that it’s seriously driving me up the wall. If he doesn’t like the taste, he’ll say NO. If he doesn’t like the look of it, he’ll say NO. Anything unfamiliar to him is a big NO NO.

Sotong was sure delighted when Ryan said No. That naturally means, she could go out earlier (it was her off day). But I summoned her to prepare and feed Ryan his star cereals anyway. This big fussy boy took a small bite and decided he wanted no more of the star cereals, instead he insisted his desire to have banana and more Ultraman show. I seriously think he’s getting too much of Ultraman and I warned him if he doesn’t finish his cereals, I will throw all his Ultraman(s) away.

Unperturbed by my warnings, he continued to reject his cereals and started jumping around. This would seemed like an everyday thing , nothing to be angry about I know but somehow yesterday it hit me. At the spur of moment I threw all his Ultraman (5), power ranger (1) and monters (3) to the other end of the living room. I was really crazy upset.

By then the poor boy sensed the madness in this fury mommy. He kept saying ‘sorry mommy sorry mommy, yj sit down already’… and guess what this mommy answered. I said.. ‘Do whatever you want, mommy don’t care’. Thinking back, I couldn’t believe I actually uttered those hurtful words on a 2.5 year old kid. What kind of mommy I am????????

The next thing that happened made me teary eyed. Poor boy quietly walked over to his beloved toys, picking the Ultramans up one by one; only to fumble and seeing them falling one by one from his grib too. His tiny hands are simply too tiny to pick them all up in one go. He didn’t ask for help.. and I don’t know why I did not offer either. I just sat  there like a big fat statue staring at her little boy, mind overshadowed by guilt and remorse of what I just did, of what the heck I was thinking and what on earth was on my @&^*% mind to do such cruel hurtful thing to her son. What have I done?? Sobss….

Ryan managed to reunite all his Ultraman(s) after two rounds. My senses finally came back. I asked him to come over and gave him a big big hug and said I was sorry. He wasn’t a tiny bit angry at his mommy instead he said this to me… ‘mommy, smile please‘  :(

Ryan, mommy is truly sorry. I love you.. lotssssssssss.

28 thoughts on “Horrible Mommy…”

  1. I can truly sense and feel the whole account you just described – being a mum is all physically, mentally and emotionally driven!! We regret too easily but is always NOT EASY to control SO we must learn to detach negative thought and work on the positive. Love to Ryan, he is such a cutie.

    Today I have terrible moment with my son too when I left him to cry in the dark for one whole hour until he lost voice. Cruel…?? I felt terrible and cried my heart out but managed to detach the feeling and mended thing later.

    There seem to have struggle everyday…it is soooo NOT EASY to raise a kid!!!

    EM: Thanks Emily. Being a mom is tough eh. Sobss.. I still feel sorry and utterly remorseful for what I have done. I brought him out for a shopping spree yesterday – in hope to mend things up. Being a child he is, obviously he held no grudges on his mommy but the regret I felt on my own end is really overbearing. I think I just went GILA yesterday.

    Ps: Tsk tsk.. you also not bad eh.. can tahan your son’s wailing for one hour?? :P Tough tough being a mom…

  2. understood your feeling.. felt the pains in my heart as well… as i did for my son too.. sometimes just go mad and said something tat is really cruel to him.. and make me so upset and regret after did tat… :(

  3. ((Hug)) U’re not horrible mummy! We do have our bad hair day. :)
    Everytime after scolding or “piak piak” my sons, I will always think, why can’t I be more tolerant or more patient towards my boys. Let us learn this “patient” lesson together gether ok?

  4. Must be the stay-at-home Mum syndrome! I have been snappy and grouchy at Lucas too that Hubby wonders if I should go back to work :P

    I’ve thrown his toys into a clean rubbish bin before also…actually quite effective in getting him to pick them up!

    Cheer up k

  5. I think Ryan now know how bad it is when not eating his food…understand this how can drive us crazy when they not eat or take a little…

    mine too..i will throw his toy few meters away, shout at him and all…but feel very bad at myself after that…

  6. Ryan is so sweet. Well, I am the same too as I have 2 of them to drive me up the wall like my incident at Mid valley!! All mothers get thrown off the edge while raising toddlers

  7. That sounded like me. I guess every mommies are going thru the same thing. I am a very patient person but when it comes to Keith, I lost my head.

  8. From reading all the other comments, you can see that it was a very natural thing to do ie to snap! I’ve actually beat Bryan’s bum before when he wouldn’t nap (and I wanted to!) and left him to cry till he puked! So nobody is a horrible mum – we’re only humans. And guess what, humans have their limits :)

  9. I can truely understand how you feel, sometime I also have mood swing and I scolded my son very badly. And furthermore, in their age now, some time they dun listen to instruction, and purposely do something opposite, so I have to use Rotan on him. Don’t worry, whatever we do, we still do for the best for them, they understand one. :)

  10. u consider very very very nice edi… u havent heard or see what i did to jayden. U will report police to catch me

  11. I think we all have our moments. Sometimes when I look back, I just can’t believe I “overeacted” the way I did. Sigh.

    Ryan is so cute. I guess it is amazing how “forgiving” kids are…mine too are like that and it makes me feel worse for being nasty.

  12. I go through that phase too – the wicked evil stepmom phase. Don’t worrylah Yvonne, everyone goes through that. But I know how horrid you must’ve felt because I feel horrigible too. And just like Ryan, when I apologize to Irfan and hug him, he’d say it’s ok and give me a hug and kiss. Sigh. Kids are so forgiving.

  13. Well… I went bonkers just now too and I screamed and walked out the room! Sometimes being a SAHM has more stress than we ever thought we would have coz we face the kids from morning till night.

  14. Little children forgive and forget easier than adults.

    So you should learn how to forgive (yourself) and forget about this incident also.

    We’re just humans. We make mistakes, we get angry, we have our moods. Not superhuman.

  15. One hour wailing..wow. I have to salute you can stand it!!! You are way better than I am. In btw I finally found out why Ryan is a late talker like you said. Its call ” Einstein Syndrome” Look it up — written by Thomas Sowell the famous economist.
    His hidden talent is in him ; it has not come out yet. ” Leo the late bloomer” that is an award winning children book. I totally encourage you to read it to him.

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