@ 34 months 1 week
I was really upset that day. I do not know I was feeling upset because I was embarassed, shocked, or simply could not accept the reality. It’s a puzzle, still an unsolved one, trying to understand what’s really in this kiddo’s mind.
I went out to Ngee Ann after tucking Ryan in for his nap. A couple hours of retail therapy works wonder, I felt much better. I came home with more sane and better mood. So I sat Ryan in front of me and started my first ‘counselling’. There were many other sessions like this eversince that day to remind him not to echo his actions.
It was not easy to get a 2 year plus kid to tell you exactly what happened. It requires a lot of unconditional patience, in which, I am shamefully lacking of this positive trait in me. From our conversations (more like Q&A session), Ryan implied he was merely ‘playing‘ with his classmate. Another time he said he was merely trying to ‘sayang‘ his classmate. So I really hope he did not do what he did to hurt his classmates and his actions were simply because he could not control his level of strength well enough thus indirectly hurting them.
I did punish Ryan for what he did. No. I am not a fan of corporal punishment so lucky him, no cane, no smacking ie no pain for this fella. Instead I took away his fav toys, hid them aside and told him I’m giving them away to his friends. The next day, I made him say sorry. I even made him hand the pressies to his friends. Ryan was visibly anxious, more like worried to me. He kept asking what’s inside the wrapper. (I have bought the toys at Ngee Ann yesterday but I told him it was his toy inside the wrapper).
Ryan did not resist. I explained he hurt his friends so he must ‘do something‘ to say sorry. He handed the pressies readily. No resistance and to my surprise he even gave a hug to one of the classmates and said sorry, a gesture which I never requested of him. Oh-so-sweet right? But guess what. As much as I was pleased with his gesture, again, this boy of mine hugged his friend so hard causing his classmate to lost his balance and almost fell. Haiz…..
I continue my effort reminding Ryan not to touch his classmates; many many times a day. Be it during meal time, play time, story time, shower, toilet, in the car, in the school compound, I brought in various examples and scenarios to instill the morale of NO TOUCHING. It got up till the extent, I find myself so ‘ngam ngam chum chum-ing’ my boy all day. Like a wicked witch :(
So far he has not done anything as aggresive as what he did that day. I’m very sure he knows he’s not supposed to touch his friends (thanks to my nagging.. I don’t even need to complete my sentence now…. )
Whether it’s intentional or not, the fact is Ryan did hurt his classmates. Kids nowadays are much brighter. Thanks to all the omegas 3, 6, 9, DHA, AHA, what not, I noticed, paying lip service is no longer good enough to deter bad behaviour from reoccuring. So hopefully making him part with his fav toys would make him aware the real price to pay as a consequences of misbehaviour.
Ps: It is actually quite hard for me to swallow that Ryan has such aggresive trait in him since he is a kid that goes around telling me ‘he miss me’, ‘he loves me’ even when I was just out of his sight for 15 minutes because I was in the shower. Haiz.. anyway.. I am still keeping the fav toys supposedly given away. LOL.
@ Clarke Quay. The shirt Ryan was wearing is his favourite shirt. He wants to wear it everyday!
Sand painting at AMK Hub